once bitten twice shy. when your husband abandoned u and neglected all his responsibilties towards you and your kids, the only thing that will cross ur mind is that, you hope u have never been there and wished that u will never be there again. but what can u do? when your old school lover came back to your life and said he have been searching for you high and low. i see it coming. late night calls, meet ups here and there, secretive chatting online. you want to be love again, you need someone to be there for you in your life to support you to encourage you in whatever things you do. you only have yourself to think about because you know u deserve better but pushed aside all your kids feelings. im devastated. w my dad divorced w my mum and living happily ever after w that stupid insolent bitch and his son, w my mum falling head over heels w her schl boy again. what they dont knw is, we love them. we need them and we want them we want them back in our life, gg overseases together taking those scary rides, trying out new food. everything we want is doomed but we never complained. we just want both of you to back together. to see us crying and hating it so badly that nothing has ever gone right in this family. please my dear god. pls, i beg you. plz at least give us the happiness just for the last time. just before the trial, just before its really over and done w, just before its too late. plz my dear god. i knw u can hear me, i hope u would reply me. ( because i love my dad and my mum so much! ) plz, bring them back together just like in my sweet dreams.

ever since, my parents broke up, money hasnt gone easy. i keep asking dad for more because money is water but ill only receive it after two weeks. when im all dry. luckily im working. at least, i can support my mum for awhile, and spend the rest for my younger ones. whats left of me, is the laughters and love i have at work and boyf. and hopefully from all those who's thinking of me. haiz, money! if only it rains money everyday. ill be the kisau singaporean. but on the other hand, money doesnt bring happiness. alright, im quitting soon and i hope this good news will brighten up some faces :))

i shall delete this blog. and be gone.

if i text and tell my friends tt i miss them like f-shit! would tt make a difference because the last time i remember, i paitau them and i didnt even apologise. right mag? so tell me, what is ur defition of a true best friend? like i dont hv feelings too !

ppl think this blog is dead and yes it is until today. imglad nobody reads it esp. the he because this is my personal diary and i wantto vent out all my anger and let it all out here today so nobody cnbasically comment on me or disturbed me or what-so-ever! im sad im deprived. ive got noone no i do hv someone someone i love n care abt someone whom im really passionate abt and wish to hv a fulfilling and promising future w. but when i need himthe most but when i need a shoulder to cry on but when i need an attentive pair of listening ears u dissappear. hw am i gonna let my problems made known to u when ure missing at the wrng time. i teared every single night before my eyelids dropped because my chest hurt like its been pierced millions of time. i screamed to my pillow everyday because telling u hw miserable i am makes no difference. i smiled n laughed every single hour because i dont want u to think im all bottled up in my own sea of trouble. im hurt every moment in my life but noone sees me noone heard me because why? i dare nt share as i find it more hurtful to tell n realise nobody cn help out. i kept it within myself because i feel u shldnt be burden by me. thick n thin together. i remember my last bus ride w u, i was feeling all blue n u insisted in telling me tt the chocolate u bough fr me is far n hw shld tt help me. cheer me up but at the back of urmind u want me to be grateful n shift my attention to u. then u showed me ur back is pain and showed off and blablabla. the list never ends. im devastated. i wanted u back because i thought u hv change. u said u tried no u said u'll do more than try but i see nth. im disappointed but i cant force u i pitied u. i love u n i care abt u. u need me in ur life but u wldnt let me be part of it. im nvr happy ppl. im nvr. first it was my family. my dad slapped my mum, he asked fr a divorce. it was a nightmare ill nvr forget. then my sister creates problem out thr and my mum is sadder than ever. i listened to ppl talk abt their misery hw abt me. wht do i hvin return. then i turned to u and it makes it more horrible. i wantto make my mum happy i want ppl to understand me wht ive been through i knw its nt easy to put urself in my shoes but at least think before u speak. the slightest mistake tt u did which u think is right fr us ure wrng it hurts me more. i dont knw wht else to say because i hv adviced u i hv give u my opinion but like i said nth seem to change. ill make my living worthwhile before its too late. i dont need ppl's symphaty.

:(

i knw u guys miss me blogging. wuahahhaha! i start work late today because im in afternoon shift. damn, ystd was my first day staying like almost more than 8 hrs at watsons doing closing and i was beat tired until i asked a favour from my handsome of the handsomest cousin. thank u v nice, he fetched me from work. and i ate as soon as i reached home because i didnt go fr break just nw since mr paul teo was busy asking me to wrap his gigantic box! annoying boss. hahahaha. so i greedily ate wht's left at home and watched tv after so looooooooooooooong! of nt gluing my eyes to e screen then i hit the sack and snored till morning. haahhaha. i miss my friends, i seriously hv no time to upload pictures and spend time w beloved ones. my off day is this sat but im gg out w my mum to shop abit fr work purpose. hmmmm, i like my colleagues. they're nt tt arrogant but hilarious and friendly ppl ive ever met except fr e first day. heheheh. and today, im gonna be at the cashier counter and learnt wrapping. wooohoooo! im so happy tt im nt gonna be stuck at e store room smelling e most smelliest smell on earth. i swear, this three indians just came fr their first day of work and they smell like toot. sry, i aint racist tho! n mr boss asked them to use deodorant e next day they come fr work. hahahaha.